How Appreciation Can Transform Your Relationships

Have you ever noticed how deeply it reaches us when we feel seen and valued?

Appreciation isn’t just a nice gesture – it’s a mindset that is foundational to building stronger, healthier connections. Whether in a romantic partnership, with friends, at work, or as a parent, the simple act of expressing genuine appreciation can transform relationships and foster trust, understanding, and connection.

But not all appreciation is created equal. The key is specificity. Saying, “I appreciate you” or “you’re so supportive” is lovely, but imagine hearing, “I really appreciate how calm and patient you were with me when I was having a hard time earlier. When you asked me if I wanted to come and tell you about it, that was just what I needed – I felt so supported.”

See how much more meaningful that sounds? It shows the other person you’ve truly noticed and valued something about them or their actions. When we are specific, it also prevents our appreciations from becoming empty and repetitive. It’s not unusual for clients I work with to have difficulty at first coming up with appreciations, but it gets easier with practice. Just remember – if you come up with something general like “you’re really kind”, notice that that’s the category of appreciation you want to express, and take a moment to think of a specific example.

Another layer to appreciation is curiosity. For instance, “was it difficult for you?” or “how did you manage to stay so grounded?” This opens dialogue reinforcing the value you place on their actions or qualities. This is particularly great with children. They will light up if you take the time to do this, and it will feed their confidence and motivation. Co-workers or employees too.

While appreciation can happen spontaneously, creating a simple ritual can help make it a sustainable habit. In a romantic relationship, you might share an appreciation each at the end of the day. At work, it could be a regular part of team check-ins. In your family, it could be a ritualised part of your dinner conversation.

By way of this practice, we nurture relationships rooted in love, gratitude, and openness – in our families, our workplaces, and in our communities.

How might you bring appreciation into your daily interactions?

If you’d like support in bringing practices like this into your relationships, I’d love to help. Reach out to me on info@joesummerfield.co.uk or go ahead and Book your free 15 minute call by clicking here.